Multitudes
By Dara Rudick, CAE — MHQ CEO
When I studied acting in college, a favorite professor used to say, “Under the right circumstances, anyone is capable of anything.” She meant it as encouragement—embrace characters unlike yourself, inhabit choices you’d never make.
I didn’t expect to witness this principle in action at Costco.
This last week was the third yahrzeit—the annual Jewish anniversary—of my Aunt Ceil’s death. She lived to be 94, and I had the good fortune to move to Minneapolis in time to spend the last third of her life with her.
She was lovely. As her grandson said at her funeral, “When you were with Ceil, she made you feel like you were the only person in her world.” She was deeply committed to her family, always made sure I was included in holiday celebrations, and taught me much from her days running her own catering business, “Cecile’s Candy.” Plus, she made the most amazing chocolates for my wedding.
Everyone who knew Ceil loved her dearly.
Then one day she invited me to go to Costco with her. I figured I’d help her out with her shopping, maybe use her membership to stock up on a few items myself.
What I wasn’t expecting was the transformation that Ceil underwent the moment we walked through those automated Costco doors.
Ceil, who by that time stood bent over from having had Polio as a child, became what I would kindly call “purposeful.” She knew what she wanted, and she did what it took to get it. In the crowded aisles, she used her cart to push her way to whatever product she was after. She used her large purse to shove people and products out of her way, no regard for kindness, or for my reputation, for that matter. I was horrified, and yet a bit in awe.
A busy Saturday at Costco had turned Aunt Ceil into “The Beast,” and she suddenly became capable of behavior I never would have imagined from her.
Fortunately, the moment we stepped out into the sunshine of that Costco parking lot, she became my sweet, beloved Aunt Ceil again.
As I reflect on this story now, I laugh. And then I think about the circumstances so many of us are navigating today. Real threats to our communities, our families, our sense of stability and safety in the world.
At MHQ, we see these pressures up close. We partner with boards, associations, and public-sector leaders who are carrying real responsibility for their communities, often amid uncertainty, limited resources, and competing demands.
When we feel threatened, it’s natural to narrow. To pull back, protect only our own, and lose sight of who we want to be. Those moments can bring out versions of ourselves, or our organizations, that don’t reflect our highest values.
Or we can choose differently. We can do the deep, intentional work to stay grounded in our values even when the ground beneath us feels unstable. We can bring that same intentionality to our work as board and community leaders: leading associations that remain true to their mission regardless of the external pressures.
To paraphrase Walt Whitman, “We contain multitudes.” The question isn’t whether we’re capable of different versions of ourselves under pressure; Aunt Ceil taught me that we absolutely are. The question is: which version do we choose to bring forward?
About MHQ
Driven by the vision of a thriving, vibrant community, MHQ is a woman-owned, world-class management company that delivers customized services. Founded in 2013, MHQ has provided association management services since its inception, as well as infrastructure to organizations in a range of industries. We serve professional and trade associations, as well as government and public sector entities. For more about MHQ, visit https://www.management-hq.com/.
